Quality Family Time: Building God's Heritage Together

Today, it is not always clear what most people mean when they use the term “quality time”. Sometimes, parents may use the phrase to make themselves feel better when time with their children is in short supply. Yet children do not only need occasional moments fitted into our schedules. They need the steady presence, attention and guidance of their parents.

Ronald Levant, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School, once observed that “quality time” can sometimes become a way of short-changing our children, because children need much parental time and attention. Likewise, Clarke Steward noted that, to have truly high-quality time, parents must first invest a certain amount of time, not just 10 minutes a week.

This is a useful reminder for us as parents. Quality time cannot be separated from quality of time. A few meaningful moments are precious, but they are usually made possible because a relationship has already been built through many ordinary moments of sitting together, talking, listening, reading, praying, eating, correcting, comforting and simply being present.

Spending time with family is essential, but we also need to consider how much of our hearts, attention and effort we truly invest in those moments when we are together. The quality of our interactions creates precious memories with our loved ones. It is during these times that we genuinely connect with our children, understand the unique individuals they are, and help guide their hearts in the right direction. 

The psalmist reminds us, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward” (Psalm 127:3).  Our children are entrusted to us by God. Therefore, the time we spend with them is not merely family bonding; it is part of our stewardship before God.

For this reason, both mothers and fathers must dedicate meaningful time to their children. Parenting is not the work of one parent alone. Mothers and fathers may serve in different ways, but both have a God-given part to play in raising children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. When both parents are faithfully present, children are blessed with guidance, love, discipline and spiritual example.

The Bible gives fathers a serious responsibility: “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).  This reminds us that fathers are called not only to provide materially, but also to guide their children spiritually through instruction, example, patience and love.

At the same time, mothers have a precious role in nurturing faith at home. Paul spoke of Timothy’s “unfeigned faith”, which had first dwelt in his grandmother Lois and his mother Eunice (2 Timothy 1:5).  He also reminded Timothy that “from a child thou hast known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation” (2 Timothy 3:15).  These verses show us that the faithful influence of mothers and grandmothers can leave a lasting spiritual imprint.

As women in the church, we can play an important role in strengthening this shared work. We can value the spiritual influence of fathers, encourage their involvement in the lives of children, and labour together with them to build homes where God’s Word is taught, lived and loved.

Quality time with our children therefore requires sacrifice, patience, sincerity and seriousness. Sacrifices have to be made. Patience must be exercised.  Our hearts must be in it. We must be serious about the responsibility God has given us.

Training and Enrichment

God expects the home to be the religious training ground for the children.  Moses told the people of Israel: “And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” (Deuteronomy 6:7).

This passage shows us that spiritual teaching is not limited to formal Bible lessons during Bible classes. It happens in ordinary conversations, daily routines, family decisions, moments of correction, and quiet examples of faithfulness.  When children see their parents choosing God in daily life, they learn that faith is not just something spoken of on the Lord’s Day, but something lived every day.

Joshua’s faith was personal, but it also involved his family. In Joshua 24:15, he declared, “as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” His words remind us that a godly home must have a clear spiritual direction.  Fathers and mothers may have different strengths, but together, they can help their children understand that the family’s first commitment is to serve God.

Have we asked ourselves what God’s purpose is for our home and family? Why did God place men, women, boys and girls in families? Surely, it is not merely so that we may live together, but that we may learn to love, serve, obey and glorify Him together.

Spending time wisely with our children helps them navigate the challenges of life. A solid foundation makes any learning experience more rewarding. Parents who dedicate time to their children are building that foundation, for parents are the first teachers in their children’s lives. We become effective teachers when our children learn not only from what we say, but also from what we consistently do.

Reading Time

In today’s world, where technology and the latest gadgets are widely available, books remain an important source of knowledge for young children. It is crucial for them to develop a positive attitude towards books and to enjoy reading. Reading to your child imparts knowledge and fosters a closer bond between parent and child.  

There is joy when we find that our children are truly engaged with books, look forward to story time, and turn to literature for learning and wholesome enjoyment rather than always depending on electronic devices. By reading regularly, children learn the words necessary to express their ideas, thoughts and feelings. Parents therefore need to dedicate time to helping their children develop a reading habit.

More importantly, daily Bible reading is essential for children, and parents must practise it themselves in order to serve as good role models.  Our children need to see that the Bible has a central place in the home.  They need to see that God’s Word is not treated as an occasional duty, but as the guide for our lives.

I am grateful to Jimmy for exemplifying daily Bible reading and for writing devotions that encourage both our family and the church. I also appreciate his commitment to the discipline of ensuring that the children read the Bible and attend church services regularly. Such consistency teaches children that faith must be practised, not merely professed.

Both parents must remember that their children's future as adults is greatly shaped by the examples they see at home. Today’s children are growing up in an environment filled with many influences from outside the home. It is therefore our responsibility as parents to prepare them to live wisely, faithfully and courageously in the world.  

The best inheritance we can give our children is not wealth, property, power, or prestige, but a godly and righteous heritage.  We want our children to take ownership of their own faith in God and to know Him for themselves. Proverbs 22:6 reminds us. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

As fathers and mothers work together in the Lord, our homes can become places where children are guided, corrected, encouraged and loved. When the Word of God shapes our family life, our children will be better prepared to shine for Him. The Lord said, “Ye are the light of the world” (Matt 5:14).  May our homes help raise children who will indeed be lights in this world, bringing glory to our Father in heaven.

Let us therefore seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33), and let us build our families with love, prayer, patience and faith. Let us not think of quality time as merely a few special moments, but as a faithful pattern of presence, teaching and godly example. As parents, let us labour together to leave behind a godly legacy, so that our children may grow to be faithful children of God.