A Father Who Honoured His Children Above God

Aside from God’s divine love, there is no greater love than a parent’s love. A parent’s love is arguably the most natural form of love that exists in this world. Parents would do anything for their children. Parents sacrifice much in order to provide a better world for their children to live in. As we prepare to celebrate Father’s Day soon, we give thanks for all fathers who love their children sacrificially and unconditionally.

As great as a parent’s love may be, all parents need to ensure that God is always the first love of our lives. If we do not love God first and foremost, we will fail as parents. A love not grounded in God’s truth will be a misguided form of love. There were many who thought that they were showing love to their children, but they were actually hurting them instead.

The Bible tells us of Eli, who was a priest and judge of Israel (1 Samuel 1-4). Eli appeared to be a faithful servant of the Lord. He was the one who trained Samuel to become the next priest and judge of Israel. Unfortunately, Eli failed as a parent to his own sons Phinehas and Hophni. What went wrong with Eli?

1.  He rebuked his sons in vain

"Nay, my sons; for it is no good report that I hear: ye make the LORD'S people to transgress. If one man sin against another, the judge shall judge him: but if a man sin against the LORD, who shall intreat for him? Notwithstanding they hearkened not unto the voice of their father, because the LORD would slay them" (1 Samuel 2:24-25)

Not much is revealed about Eli’s time as a parent except for a brief encounter between Eli and his adult sons. Phinehas and Hophni were committing terrible sins during their priestly service (1 Samuel 2:1-17). Having heard of their sins, Eli rebuked his sons. Unfortunately, Phinehas and Hophni did not heed to their father’s rebuke (1 Samuel 2:22-25).

As parents, we may experience times when our advice to our children “fall on deaf ears.” Children must, of course, remember their duty to obey their parents in the Lord (Ephesians 6:1). That command also has implications for the parents: we must give them something to obey. We must take charge and be the authoritative figure in our children’s lives. As can be seen from the qualifications of the elders, men are expected to have their children “in subjection with all gravity” (1 Timothy 3:4). Eli has, unfortunately, failed to command the obedience of his sons. We must not make the same mistake as Eli. To succeed as parents, we need to rebuke our children “with all authority” (Titus 2:15).

2. He restrained them not

"For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not" (1 Samuel 3:13)

God promised to judge Eli and his household for their sins. Particularly, God pointed out that when Eli’s sons sinned, he failed to restrain them (1 Samuel 3:13). This reminds us of the importance of our duty as parents. Certainly, our children will have to answer to God for their own sins (2 Corinthians 5:10). However, we learn from Eli’s example that parents will not be guiltless if we fail to discipline our children effectively. Hence, the Bible has many exhortations and reminders for parents to train, nurture and discipline our children (Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:4).

Eli did rebuke his sons for their sin (1 Samuel 2:22-25). Despite that, God still condemned him for failing to restrain them (1 Samuel 3:13). Evidently, Eli’s effort to rebuke was insufficient. It could have been a case of “too little, too late.” In the ears of his sons, Eli’s rebuke was just “empty words.” We must not make the same mistake as Eli. We need to ensure our efforts to discipline are effective and adequate. We need to teach wisdom to our children through reproof and correction (Proverbs 29:17). We need to discipline them while they are young, and while there is hope (Proverbs 19:18). We need to exercise discipline early and promptly (Proverbs 13:24). We need to discipline with the rod of correction (Proverbs 22:15).

3. He reverenced his sons more than God

"Wherefore kick ye at my sacrifice and at mine offering, which I have commanded in my habitation; and honourest thy sons above me, to make yourselves fat with the chiefest of all the offerings of Israel my people?" (1 Samuel 2:29)

Due to Eli’s failure to discipline his sons effectively, God condemned him for honouring his sons above Him (1 Samuel 2:29). Obviously, Eli did not worship his sons in the way that He worshipped God. However, his actions (or lack of it) shows that he prioritized his sons over God. There are those who profess to know God but their actions speak otherwise (Titus 1:16). The way we parent our children will show whether we truly honour God or not. Our failure to train and discipline our children will show that we do not honour God in our lives.

As Christians, we need to always ensure that God has the throne of our hearts. We will not be worthy of following Jesus if we put family above our Lord (Matthew 10:37). We will fail as parents if we put our children above our Lord. To ensure we do not make the same mistake as Eli, we need to ask ourselves:

• Do we turn a blind eye to our children’s sin?

• Do we discipline our children adequately and effectively?

• Do we schedule our lives around our children rather than the Lord?

• Do we covet the approval of our children over God’s approval?

• Do we prioritize our children’s secular success over their spiritual success?

As we prepare to celebrate Father’s Day, we thank God for fathers who train their children in the way of the Lord. We thank God for fathers who show their children what it means to put God first in their lives. We thank God for fathers who honour God above all else. Let us learn from the mistakes of Eli so that we can avoid his failure. May God bless us so that we can all be successful Christian parents.

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6)