7 Parenting Tips from the Proverbs

The role of the parent is often a role that is underappreciated and ill-compensated. Yet, it is arguably the most important work in this world. There is a saying, "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." Like it or not, our role as parents will have a vital impact on our children. Unfortunately, we do see children who grow up, and they fail to become the faithful Christian that their parents wished them to be. How can we succeed as Christian parents? Let us learn 7 parenting tips from Proverbs, the book of wisdom.

1. Save Up for Their Future

Verse: Proverbs 13:22

Parents have a duty to provide for their children (1 Timothy 5:8). In fact, the apostle Paul suggests that those who fail to do so are even worse than unbelievers! If unbelievers know how to provide for the physical needs of their children, all the more Christians must not fail in this fundamental responsibility. We want to provide adequately for our children's needs, and strive to leave behind an inheritance for their future.

Although parents need to work to support the children, we do need to be careful not to fall into the trap of covetousness (1 Timothy 6:10). We (and our children) need to know the difference between needs and wants. Our children need to learn the value of contentment (1 Timothy 6:6). Our children need to realize that spiritual treasures are more important than physical treasures (Matthew 6:19-20). As we provide for our children's physical needs, we also need to teach them the right perspective about money.

2. Set the Rules

Verses: Proverbs 1:8; 3:1; 4:1-2; 6:20-21; 7:1-2; 13:1; 15:5; 23:22; 28:7

At least 9 times in the book of Proverbs, children are called to obey the laws and commandments of their parents. Both in the Old and New Testament, we are called to obey and honour our parents (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1-3). God promises that those who do so may "live long on the earth." Wise children will listen to the advice and instructions of their parents.

In order for children to obey their parents, there must be something to obey in the first place. When there are no laws and rules, anarchy ensues (Judges 21:25). It would be difficult for parents to train the children when they refuse to listen and obey. Hence, from an early age, parents must impress themselves as the authoritative figure in their children's life.

3. Share Wisdom

Verses: Proverbs 3:21; 5:1; 10:1; 15:20; 23:15, 24; 27:11

On top of laying down the rules, we also need to teach the children to make wise decisions for themselves. We do not want our children to follow the rules blindly, or to follow the rules only because they are compelled to. We want to see our children grow up to become wise persons who can make wise decisions on their own accord. Wise children will make happy parents; foolish children will make heavy-hearted parents.

In order to teach wisdom, we need to spend time educating them. In this world, the children will be confronted with worldliness and worldly wisdom. As Christian parents, we need to combat such worldly influence by teaching them spiritual wisdom from God's Word. Just as Timothy learned the Scriptures from a young age, we need to start educating the little ones early, so as to set a good foundation for their faith (2 Timothy 3:15).

4. Spare Not the Rod

Verses: Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15

Nowadays, it is not trendy to use the rod on the children. In fact, worldly wisdom teaches that corporal punishment is "ineffective." The world teaches that it is unloving to beat the child. However, God's wisdom is greater than man's wisdom (1 Corinthians 3:19). If we want to succeed as parents, we would do well to heed the wisdom of God.

God teaches us that those who love their children will be diligent to exercise discipline (Proverbs 13:24). Of course, as parents, it pains our hearts to see our children cry; however, God teaches us to chasten them while there is still hope (Proverbs 19:18). The rod of correction is important in order to remove foolishness out of the child's heart (Proverbs 22:15). The rod is important to impart wisdom to the child (Proverbs 29:15). God reassures us that the rod will not kill the child; yet, the rod could save him from Hell (Proverbs 23:13-14).

5. Shape By Correction

Verses: Proverbs 22:15; 23:13; 29:15, 17

Correction goes hand in hand with the rod. Correction gives meaning to the rod. The rod gives power to correction. Correction is important to remove foolishness from the child (Proverbs 22:15). Correction is important to teach wisdom to the child (Proverbs 29:15). Correction is important while the child is still young, so that we can guide them in the right direction (Proverbs 19:18).

Correction requires time and attention. We will not be able to correct the child if we are ignorant of his faults. We will not be able to identify the child's faults if we are absent from his life. We will not be able to address the child's faults adequately if we do not take the time to explain and educate. Hence, it is important for parents to be intentional in our parenting, and to be present in our children's lives.

6. Show integrity

Verses: Proverbs 20:7; 31:28-30; 17:6

Children are blessed when they have fathers who have integrity (Proverbs 20:7). Children are blessed when they have mothers who have virtue (Proverbs 31:28-30). They are blessed because, when parents have integrity, this will lead to homes that provide a conducive environment for the children to grow up in. However, when parents have poor moral values, this leads to broken homes, and the children will suffer.

It is important for parents to have personal integrity so that we can set a good example for them to follow (1 Corinthians 11:1). Also, our personal integrity will lend power to discipline and correction. Children will not take their parents' words seriously if their words do not match up with their actions. Indeed, our personal integrity will affect our ability to parent our children effectively.

7. Spiritual Training

Verse: Proverbs 22:6

As Christians parents, we want our children to grow up to become faithful Christians. We want them to grow up and be wise enough to walk in the right direction. However, we worry that we may fail in this important quest. Nevertheless, God has this promise: "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).

In order to successfully train up the children, we need to actively train them in the way of the Lord. Importantly, we need to realize that spiritual training is not a once-a-week affair; rather, it is a 24/7 duty (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). Every day, through our daily interaction, communication and shared experiences, we need to be intentionally training and educating them in the Lord's way. Also, in order to successfully train up the children, we need to show them the way, by setting a good example for them to follow (Proverbs 20:7; 1 Corinthians 11:1).

Concluding Remarks

May we apply the wisdom from God's Word into our lives, so that we may walk as faithful children of God and also become successful Christian parents. For the sake of our children, let us be intentional and diligent in our role as parents. May the Lord bless us as we strive to train up the little ones in the way that they should go.