Finding Joy in Parenthood: 5 Things to Let Go

Parenthood is undeniably a stressful endeavour. It is no wonder many feel more stressed once the children arrive. Many couples are even avoiding the prospect of having children. However, God’s desire is for us to find joy in parenthood, and not grief. In order to find this elusive joy, let us consider 5 things we need to let go:

1. Selfish Ambition

“… It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35)

Parenting is a pain when our focus is on our own selfish desires. If our priorities are on our personal wealth, time, hobbies and vacation, then children are indeed getting in the way. However, Jesus teaches us to put away selfish desires (Luke 9:23). There is a deep joy to be found in prioritizing the happiness of others over ourselves. Hence, to find joy in parenthood, we need to learn the joy of putting others before self.

2. Stuffed Schedules

“Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that” (James 4:13-15)

Parenting is a pain when we cannot find the time for anything. Everyone has only 24 hours a day, and it is not uncommon to find ourselves scrambling for time. Busyness is not wrong per se. The question is: what are we busy with? Perhaps our lives need a declutter or even a major reorganization. We need to learn to prioritize the precious time that our children need from us and deprioritize career and other distractions.

3. Superfluous Activities

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33)

Parenting is a pain when our children’s schedules are bursting to the brim with all sorts of activities. Sometimes, we make ourselves unnecessarily busy by signing up for too many optional activities. How many of these extra-curricular activities will make a real difference in the children’s lives? We need to learn to prioritize the things that are truly important and deprioritize those that are really unnecessary.

4. Senseless Stresses

“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof” (Matthew 6:34)

Parenting is a pain when we are overly worried about the children’s safety, education and future. There is a fine line between being cautious and being “kiasi” (overly fearful). Being overly worried may cause us to stress ourselves unnecessarily. Jesus teaches us to put aside our worries and to trust in Him (Matthew 6:34; Proverbs 3:5-6). We need to learn to let go (of our worries) and let God (take charge of our lives).

5. Secular Wisdom

“For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness” (1 Corinthians 3:19)

Parenting is a pain when we are bombarded by diverse kinds of parenthood advice from so-called experts. We may hear advice that has been passed down from our ancestors. We may read advice from self-professed gurus online. We may receive advice from well-meaning friends. Good advice could be helpful, but bad advice could lead to more stress. Ultimately, the best advice comes from the One who created all babies (Psalm 119:105; 139:14). We need to learn to trust in God’s wisdom concerning parenthood.

The time we have with the little ones is short and fleeting. Let us not waste any second of it, and let us enjoy every precious moment!