Have You Arrived?

You must have heard of the arrival fallacy in some form or another.

The arrival fallacy, in simple terms, is believing that you will be permanently happy or satisfied once you reach a certain goal. For example, thinking that you would be finally content once you hit a certain career milestone, or that you would be happy (ever after) once you get married.

As the word 'fallacy' suggests, this is a mistaken belief because the happiness gained often fades quickly as the new status or achievement becomes the new normal, and we naturally seek out the next big thing to work towards. This leaves us in a state of constant dissatisfaction, since we are always looking to a happiness that is in the future.

Subscribing to this fallacy brings problems into our Christian lives:

Problem #1: We are not content with God's blessings

God showers us with countless blessings, but we may fail to notice them if we remain solely fixated on a future goal. Furthermore, we make the mistake of believing that we need specific things in order to be happy. On the contrary, Paul tells us in Philippians 4:11-12 that we can learn to be content whether in abundance or in need.

Count your blessings

The children's song, 'Count your blessings', says it best - "Count your blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done". This reminder is necessary for both kids and adults alike. The human brain remembers negative experiences more vividly because the brain processes these experiences more deeply. As a result, we often recall the bad things that happen to us more easily, which in turn gives us the impression that our life is a series of unfortunate events. Making a conscious effort to recall and list the blessings you have received can help us to be grateful to God for them (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18), and to remind us that we should be content with what we have been blessed with.

Focus on simplicity

1 Timothy 6:7-8 reminds us that we brought nothing into this world and we will carry nothing out, and that we should be content with having just food and clothing. Indeed, we are often blessed with much more than we actually need. And sometimes these extra material possessions and worldly accolades end up complicating our lives instead of serving it, distracting us from the things that are truly important. We should be content with having just enough and do not need to clamour for more because we have the knowledge and assurance that God is our helper, and that He will not forsake us (Hebrews 13:5-6).

Problem #2: We are waiting instead of working.

The main idea of the arrival fallacy is that one will be happy only when something has been achieved. This idea extends to the feeling of being ready to do something only when something has been achieved. For example, I will have more time to serve God when my babies have grown up. This mindset reflects a failure to prioritize God's work, and makes it apparent that God is not the centre of our lives.

Time to refocus

Time is a valuable resource, one that God has bestowed upon us. Let's not squander it by spending it on things that are relatively unimportant. We need to take a good look at all our commitments and responsibilities, and think about what we ought to focus our limited time and energy on. Like the example we see in the parable of the rich fool (Luke 12:16-21), don’t keep waiting for the day you feel available to start doing God's work, for no one is promised tomorrow (James 4:13-15).

One may also inadvertently use youth and inexperience as excuses to avoid doing God's work. For example, I will be able to comfort the grieving when I am older and wiser because then I will know what to say.

Just do it anyway

Youth is not an excuse to not do God's work. Timothy was encouraged to keep up his work despite his youth (1 Timothy 4:12). Jeremiah was rebuked by God for using his youth as an excuse (Jeremiah 1:6-8). In Jeremiah's, and also in Moses' (Exodus 3:11-12; 4:8-17) stories, we can see that God will always be there to support and guide the inexperienced, through our fellow brethren or otherwise. It's okay to not feel ready. However, important things such as serving God should still be done despite not feeling ready. Oftentimes, it is by doing that you get better at it. Everyone has to start somewhere.

Problem #3: We define our success in terms of the world.

As a society, Singapore is pretty competitive, or kiasu as we may say. We don't only look at where we are in our lives, we also look at how our lives look compared to our peers. It is easy for us to get caught in the trap of constantly working towards what everyone else seems to have - the leadership role at work, the shiny new car, the picture-perfect family, etc. Do we still think of success in terms of professional achievements, recognition in your chosen field, or even annual income? What should it mean to be successful as Christians?

Focus on your own path

As Christians, we have chosen the straight and narrow path (Matthew 7:13-14). We need to remember that because our paths are different, our lives and successes should look different too. It would be pointless to peg and compare our successes to people of the world, as doing so would only distract us from our Christian goals. Let's instead persevere and focus on the path we have rightly chosen (Proverbs 4:25-27).

Set godly goals

Instead of investing time and effort in worldly goals, we need to be setting our sights on goals that are eternal. 1 Timothy 6:6-10 tells us that godliness with contentment is great gain, but the desire and love for worldly possessions can only end in sorrow. Examples of such goals could be: fixing a specific sinful behaviour, making friends with a new convert by the end of the year, or even taking the effort to remember all the sick brethren in your prayers.

Speaking of setting goals that are spiritual, would the goal of becoming a good Christian be then also subjected to the arrival fallacy? I'd say yes, but this time, perhaps in a good way.

There is no amount of good works we can do to earn our salvation, as it is only by God’s grace that we have a chance of salvation through baptism. But we do need to show our faith by our works (James 2:17-18). Moreover, if baptism is a 'goal', have you 'arrived' once you have been baptised? Of course not. The next 'goal' would then be to live your life as a faithful Christian.

You may start by making a few short-term goals, and then aim to do more and more as you hit these goals. But there isn’t a checklist of items that if completed, signify that you are an exemplary Christian. So then will it ever reach a point when I can say, yes I have done enough, I have 'arrived', I am the best Christian I can be? And if so, then does that make me a lesser Christian because I have stopped seeking to improve? The Bible warns that those 'who thinks he stands [should] take heed lest he fall' (1 Corinthians 10:12). Pride so often comes before a fall (Proverbs 16:18; 11:2). Personally, I think it would be a mistake to think you’d ever be ‘done’ while you’re still living. You can only truly ‘arrive’ when you die a faithful Christian (2 Timothy 4:7).

So, if the arrival fallacy pushes you to keep doing better and to keep achieving more for God, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing, would it?